A Lesson in Unconditional Love


I believe that at a certain juncture, a spiritual seeker comes to a point where he has to let go of all the tools in the path, and even let go of a certain path, or paths, in order to transcend all worldly constructs. I see this process as a pivotal step towards spiritual enlightenment.

When a seeker stops clinging to the tools in the path, and stops holding on to only “one right path,” he arrives at the equanimous, balanced state of Non-duality, or Oneness. 

A non-dualist and unconditionally loving person does not judge and criticize others who act and think in a different way from his definitive notion of what is right and wrong. A non-dualist understands that people act the way they do because of a reason – some reason he can know and understand, but many other reasons he may never know and may never understand. And so his best recourse, as a non-dualist perceiver, is to accept and love others in spite of who they are and what they do, in spite of how they choose to live their lives – knowing and understanding full well that anyone who is in their best state of mind would not deliberately do anything to disadvantage themselves or another. So instead of judging and condemning another who may be doing something “wrong”, a non-dualist perceiver would instead feel compassion towards the other.

In my early journey as a seeker, most of the teachers and spiritual traditions I encountered are wrapped up in dualistic consciousness: they maintain a strong idea about good and evil. In consequence, they tend to act that as if a lurking evil is out there to get them. Some of them do rituals and repeat mantras to “protect” them from the alleged onslaught, or corrupting powers of so-called evil forces. A fear-based spirituality such as this is threatened by so-believed lower vibrational beings, impure situations, sinful elements, immoral people, people who are certain to reap negative karma, etc. As a result of this fear, and perhaps mixed with a feeling of righteousness and superiority, fearful spirituals actively resist associating with certain people and situations which they judge to be of “lower vibrational frequencies”.

Ironically, what we resist persists. The very people and situations we are trying hard to avoid all the more pop up in our reality to get our attention. It is because we attract our disowned parts until such time that we learn to embrace, integrate, and to love them unconditionally.

There are some people, whose ingrained beliefs are threatened and challenged by a different perspective or paradigm, who often form exclusive groups with members who only agree and validate who they think they are. There is certainly nothing wrong in choosing to hang around certain types of people; I see nothing wrong with fortifying oneself with like-minded folks who tend not to create friction in a perfect bubble world. My rebellious temperament, however, often gets the better of me that I find it wrong to judge and censure others who happen to have divergent thoughts from certain established dogmas.

I had a recent personal experience. For the past 1.5 years, a spiritual guru, whom I have neither seen nor talked with in person, often appeared in my dream state. The dreams were repetitive and consistent in their theme. In dream state, he was sending me letters, emails, books, invitations, calling me through a cell phone, gazing at me while projecting very loving vibes. For some reason, the “giving” was only one way: he was doing the action while I was a passive recipient of his actions. In waking state, however, the situation is very different. I was the one initiating communication with him, mostly only to tell him about the dreams and to ask his opinions about it. His vague but standard or typical guru response, as to why I was dreaming about him, is because we have a “soul-connection”, “mystical connection”, “past life connection”. My unusual dreaming about him intrigued me greatly and drew me closer to be more interested in him.

In waking state, our atmosphere of interaction is quite formal. And in fact, we at times vibrationally clashed because of our differing approaches to spirituality. He is one of those teachers who maintain a dualistic mode of thinking and perceiving. He pushed my buttons. I might have done the same to him. Since his vibes in dream state and waking state are incongruent, I was perplexed as to whether he has a conscious agenda or not. It turned out that he has not. He was not telepathically contacting me in dream state, at least, not consciously on his end. Since I thought he was just a source of unnecessary confusion, I tried to totally avoid him. But as I “blocked” him, the dreams became even more intense and outrageous.

Lesson learned:

I claim myself to be a non-dualist and who is then unconditionally loving. Yet I perceived this individual as a dualist, and I was “bothered” by his dualistic teachings. I was provoked by some of his strongly held dualistic beliefs which I considered to be judgmental and discriminatory against other people who do not necessarily share his spiritual convictions.

He censured others. I censured him for censuring others. He judged others; I judged him for judging others. I criticized him because I wanted him to be more like me – a non-dualist – one who does not see higher or lower, but only strives to focus on the good in others. However, by judging and perceiving him as a dualist, by being provoked by his dualistic teachings, and by censuring him for censuring others, I have become a dualist myself!

I just found myself re-schooled in my lesson about non-duality and unconditional love!


Saving a Soul, Saving the World


Many activists, empaths, including so-called Way Showers and Light Workers have it deep in their hearts the genuine intention to save the world. This, because they have been moved, touched deeply by what they see around them – suffering, injustice, tragedies, pain, deaths.

I call them Wounded Healers. It takes one to be wounded to really feel and empathize with the hurt, the pain, the wound of others – of the world.

When one is wanting to save the world through their well-intentioned desire to save another person who they see is suffering or going through destructive habits or addictions, it is usually because one is also nursing their own wound – a part of them that is needing some attention, healing, some nourishing and nurturing.

This wounded aspect draws in an external actor to mirror the internal need. When we find ourselves nurturing the external actor, we are at the same time nurturing that inner part of us that is needing healing or attention. This is why we feel relieved and uplifted when we care for another as our act of healing and nurturing another is healing and nurturing that resonant part of us.

Every other creation we are observing reflects an aspect of us. We are not separate from one another.

I once wanted to save the world. I became a communist who at one point was on the verge of joining a guerrilla army to fight against capitalist-backed government forces. I was seventeen, a top college freshman. No, I was not brainwashed. I knew exactly what I wanted and why. I wanted to fight for justice, for equality, for the end of poverty, and to fight against environmental destruction of indigenous peoples’ ancestral domains.  If I was not wounded by injustice, I would have not perceived it the way I did. If I was not bitten by poverty, this social affliction would have not meant that much personally to me. These issues were in my face, they were my very personal wounds.

I once wanted to save certain people close to me. When someone you love is hurting, you feel their pain as if it is your own. When someone you love appears to be going down the road towards self-destruction, you want to rescue them. You want to rescue that part of you which is interlinked with them.

But there is just too much to save and many of them do not want to be “saved.” Or they do not see any need for saving. They are right. Everyone came with a different agenda, different experiences to explore, different paths to try on which is not greater or lesser than yours, only different.

Perhaps one person’s agenda is to annoy you to no end so you could see the futility of trying to change them into what they are not.

Many Light Workers and Way Showers end up being hurt and resentful when they feel that their efforts to help and rescue another is not acknowledged or valued. They are setting themselves up for disappointment when their rescue operation fails because the ones they are trying to rescue cannot live up to their well-meaning goals and expectations. Disappointments and frustrations happen when do-gooders expect something in return. When they expect their actions to be validated by others.

As an empath and  activist wanting to get something done about the many problems of the world, I have struggled with this “saving” dilemma for some time until I got energetically drained and tired of holding on to my hero/savior self-appointed identity. I was then young and rebellious, ready to take on the problems of the world!

I say that a Light Worker and Way Shower should continue doing what they do, not to save another’s soul, not with the overarching goal to save the world, but simply because they love to do what they do. They do what they do because it is their genuine self-expression and it makes them happy just to be in their self-expression.

In the end, we can only save ourselves, through personal development and strengthening of character. Then those who we are attempting to save may notice our example and by their own volition, they may or may not come to us. If they come to us, it means they are in a receptive mode and are more likely to be open to hear what we have to share.

What is Spiritual and What is Not, And The End of Karma.


There’s this spiritual guru (who is known more for his other profession, though he prefers to be known more as a “spiritual person” — duh?) who wanted me to become a follower. Not that there is anything wrong with his wanting me to be one of his followers or students as I myself is always eager to continually grow and expand. He also appeared to be knowledgeable enough, charismatic, and thus, “followable”. And there was I, eager to learn more from a smooth-talking and good-looking spiritual teacher. I happily followed.

Initially, I thought that he and I share a lot of things in common, such as the deeper understanding of the “spiritual mysteries.” As I followed him, however, I realized that we are on a different level of understanding.

Through his teachings, one could discern that he has a very strong opinion about what spirituality is, or what it should be, and this did not sit well with me because of its presumptions:

It presumes that there is a spiritual reality and a non-spiritual reality, and these are two irreconcilable and incompatible worlds. This implies that there are spiritual people, like said guru and others who fall under the category of accepted “spiritual”, and then there are the “non-spiritual” ones who exhibit characteristics that fall outside the label of what is believed to be “spiritual”.

His continued reference on what is spiritual and what is not made him come across more of a moralist rather than an enlightened guru who knows what he is talking about. I was inspired to ask two questions:

Is his emphasis on what is spiritual and what is not an attempt to make people notice their lack of spirituality so they can get themselves more spiritual? Is it because he wants to get people to think and do more “spiritual” things rather than “nonspiritual” things?  Certainly, these are very lofty intentions.


It also gives off the impression that people have to emulate his brand of spirituality wherein contained all the attributes considered “spiritual,” so that they can then be considered “spiritual”.



But the question we may be really interested in is, What is spiritual and what is not anyway?

In the highest context, the context of Non Dualism, Oneness and Non Separation (terms which are often referred to by so-called “spirituals” — which of course include above mentioned guru), as these identical terms exactly entail, there is no such thing as “spiritual” and “nonspiritual”. Rather, every thing and every one are spiritual. There are no higher level and lower level creations. No sinner and no saint.


Good news!

Karma is non-existent — in the plane of Non Dualism. Everybody is saved, nobody is going to hell!

Oh, that’s bad news! It is surely unfair. What of the evil ones? Are they not going to pay for their sins?

It is certainly bad news to those who are selling salvation and expensive tickets to heaven. Their sales pitch will no longer appeal to the manipulated, frightened, guilt-ridden masses, and so they’ll run out of business.

It is also bad news to those who are hard to forgive others’ trespasses, and to those who absolve themselves from self-responsibility because they find it easier to blame the devil.

It is impossible to really grasp the understanding of Oneness while remaining in a dualistic mindset.

So I’m wondering how a spiritual guru can genuinely teach about Non Dualism, Non Separation, and Oneness if their emphasis lies in the differences, the divisions and separations. Their persistent talk of sin or karma, saint and sinner makes their teachings trite and boring.

While it’s surely a reality that expressions of dualism abound around us, dualistic teachings further the divide rather than bridge the gap to encourage compassion and reconciliation.

Moreover, in a non dualistic context, nobody can really do anything to get more spiritual than they already are. It is a matter of recognizing one’s inherent spirituality, and recognizing exactly that same thing in others. Period.

Aw, I noticed I have become critical of moralistic gurus which makes me judgmental myself! I really, really don’t want to judge, but I just can’t help expressing my observations, sometimes.




The Stream of Peace


There is a continuous stream of peace running in the background,

quietly, it runs, in the background,

drowned by the noise in the foreground.


It is a clear, peaceful stream flowing,

unobstructed, unconditioned, pure,

unaffected by the turbulence around it.


Peacefully and joyously constant, it remains

oblivious of anything else – aware only of itself and its purity,

quietly, it flows . . .


Within this peace is joy, within this joy is love,

peace, joy and love – all in one – untouched, uncontaminated,

innocent: knows no regrets, no blame, no sin, no karma.


A steady stream . . .

a source of strength, a fall back, a respite from it’s opposite –

the ever-shifting, tumultuous, raging river of the manifest world.


It is certainty where there is uncertainty.

It is order where there is disorder.

It is the light where there is darkness.


This is where we want to be.

It is heaven – undisturbed peace, true love, lasting happiness.

It is God – constant, cannot be taken away, never abandons, never fails.


It is ever present . . .

It is enlightenment.

And it lies in wait to be uncovered.


A steady stream running in the background

drowned by the noise in the foreground.


The Wounded Healer: Wounded No More


Most healers are molded to become who they are – as healers and teachers – because of past wounds, hurts, and other very deep psychological experiences that led them to walk the sinuous Path of the Healer.

Not everyone is meant to be a healer – shaman, herbalist, therapist, nurse, doctor, artist.

We need engineers, technicians, carpenters, scientists, farmers, nannies, salespeople, truck drivers.

We need those whose job is to dig the ground and bury the dead. If you meet one, bow to them.

Do we need politicians? 🙂

Each to his or her own calling, different, yet equally indispensable.

Differences are what allow each one contribute to build a complete and balanced world.

We need fools – a reason for the wise to be known as ‘wise’.

We need sinners – a reason for the saint to be called a ‘saint’.

Many healers naturally start as wounded healers because they have to intimately know illness in order to know how to deal with, and heal illness.

However, there should come a time for a healer to pass the stage of being wounded.

A time for a healer to heal her own hurt, to close her own wounds, so that she can be an example that healing can indeed happen.

When a healer is able to close her own gaping wounds, when she had come to terms with her own inner demons, she no longer unconsciously engage in the usual human drama.

She may, however, consciously choose to engage in the drama. But it would now be only for fun, for play — for hers and others’ amusement.

The healer could then become a sort of a clown, a Fool in people’s eyes.

And she is at peace with it. She is at peace with everything.

She is content to exist  simply as herself. And all around her are healed by her healing presence.